Tag Archives: Adelaide

Normal service resumes for Alastair Cook

Alastair Cook’s currently in the process of causing as much hurt to Australians as would happen if someone told them that they thought that Kylie and Dannii Minogue are in fact as talented as each other.

He’s going to resume at Adelaide on 136, which is after that unbeaten 235 he racked up at the Gabba last week.  That was some viewing, seeing him batter Australia’s batsmen about.  Given that he looked technically spent during the English summer, it’s like watching an unsubtle visual suggestion that Australia’s bowling attack is fucking awful.

Of course, that’s in fact the only time that Cook has brought up a century when I’ve been watching.  When he was going through that two year-long purple patch that was the start of his Test career, I wasn’t really watching that much cricket, which is one of few things about 2006 and 2007 that I could definitely tell you.

I resumed watching cricket regularly in 2008, coinciding with his first bad run of form, so I didn’t see any there, though he did make some promising starts, like in Chennai before he skied an attempted slog-sweep.  In 2009, he timed his centuries to occur when it was term time while I was at university, or, in 2010, while I was in some part of Catalonia wandering up Montserrat and eating smurf flavoured ice cream.

In the case of the Adelaide Test, I went for an intended hour’s slumber, only for it to turn into seven hour comatose.

So whereas before it was simply a matter of circumstance that made me miss Alastair Cook scoring runs by the saxophone case-load,  now my body’s decided to turn against me as well.  Thanks a lot, body.

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Time may change me, but I can’t trace time

Because naming a post ‘C-C-C-Changes’ was too obvious, I thought I’d take the opportunity to use a few lines from the same Bowie song which reflect rather nicely on the situation faced by Australia in their selection for the looming Adelaide Test.

With the second Ashes Test at the Adelaide Oval looming, the rumours in current circulation reckon that Mitchell Johnson and Ben Hilfenhaus will be making way for Doug Bollinger and Ryan Harris in Australia’s bowling lineup.

Mitchell Johnson must certainly wish he could trace back to his series-winning performance in South Africa last year, as the ‘once-in-a-generation’ turned ‘no-wicket-in-a-match’ seamer has spent virtually every series since then looking like a shadow of previous shadows of himself.  It’s hard to imagine him looking any worse in his next match, wherever that might be.  At least he can get rid of that ‘tache.

Fellow cack-hander Bollinger offers a less erratic bowling action and has the distinction, like Ryan Harris, of not having faced England in Test matches before, therefore lacking baggage like Johnson has from the 2009 series.

That Cricket Australia may be considering replacing the hamstring troubled Hilfenhaus with Harris, who’s only just returning from his own layoff, gives a pretty good idea of what they thought of Johnson’s showing at the Gabba.

I would like to express my own disappointment with Mitchell Johnson.  I’d hoped he’d spread his levels of shite-ness across the entire series for extended comic value like last year, instead he’s put most of it into a a single cataclysmic cricket catastrophe.


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